Incoming Hail, Captain!
by Schnickledooger
Summary: What does the team do when they're quarantined in Mt. Justice waiting for their sickness to run its course? Play Star Trek in the bio-ship. Teamfluff-fic!


**Disclaimer:** I do not own **Young Justice**. Greg Weisman, Brandon Vietti and Cartoon Network do. I do not own **Star Trek**. Gene Roddenberry does.

**Summary:** What does the team do when they're quarantined in Mt. Justice waiting for their sickness to pass? Play Star Trek in the bio-ship. Teamfluff-fic!

**A/N:** fill for a YJ anon meme prompt.

**Incoming Hail, Captain!**

No one was quite sure where the virus had been caught, whether it had been the work of a toxin plant or gas launched at them by some psycho villain, or whether they had picked it on one of their abroad missions out of the country.

Either way, it was transferred in the most common and mundane fashion: by air or skin-to-skin contact by one or more of the young league members who unknowingly brought it back with them to the base where it spread like a raging wildfire, merrily hopping from one person to the next until Mt. Justice was a living cesspool of germs.

Once they had determined the virus wasn't life-threatening, but very contagious, their mentors had banned the team from any further missions and had ordered them not to step foot outside the base until the cold had run its course. Then their mentors had made a ninja-Robin getaway, speaking to them only through the communicators. Even Black Canary and Red Tornado were suspiciously absent. The Justice League was taking every precaution not to allow this virus to spread to the adult superheroes and put them out of commission as well.

In other words… the young team was freaking _quarantined._

And they were not happy about it.

For the first time in her life, Artemis found herself immensely glad she was only human. It seemed the metas of their team were experiencing the full brunt of the virus' symptoms. While she and Robin only had contracted flu-like side-effects and congestion, poor M'gann was changing skin-tones to every color under the rainbow every few minutes, while Kaldur's tattoos proceeded to glow a neon electric blue and remain that way. Zatanna seemed to have developed a case of perpetual hiccups and kept accidentally blurting out broken incantations which everyone tried their best not to get hit by. That was on top on them already ducking for cover every time Superboy sneezed, showing off the spectacular nostril laser power he had gained. It was a still a mystery as to whether or not it would stick with him once the virus had vanished, but for now Connor appeared unnaturally enthusiastic about his new ability. "Who needs heat-vision when you have super mucus slime?" Kid Flash had said trying to keep the usually brooding boy's spirits up. Kid Flash, who had been unfortunately struck by one of Zatanna's stray-hiccuped spells and now was sporting four-inch long, pointed ears, and now whom the virus had deemed to grace with a slight fever and chills violent enough for him to fall into on and off-again vibrating spasms. So far he already destroyed the refrigerator's door-handle, the shower's hot water knob, and one of the PlayStation 3's game controllers.

"Oh, thanks a lot, KF!" Robin threw his own controller aside in disgust.

"What? You can still play solo you know!" Wally glared at him standing up from the hole he had just vibrated into the couch.

"It won't be as fun as it would have when I win and then spend the rest of the day holding it over your head and gloating," Robin said hoarsely, cracking a grin.

"Oh, god, I am so boooored!" Artemis moaned as she slumped half-way over the dinette, letting the coolness of the countertop soothe her hot cheek. "We've been cooped up in here for a two whole days and I'm going stir-crazy already! How long did Bats condemn us again?"

"One week… at the very least," Kaldur said, his voice indicating absolute misery and then another symptom of the virus decided to reveal itself in his body and Mt. Justice's fire sprinklers turned on attracted to Aqualad's emotions, flooding the cave in a mini-monsoon.

"Save the electronics!" Robin cried dashing wildly towards the living room's large, flat-screen tv, DVD/Blu-ray player and game consoles.

"I'm on it" Kid Flash shouted zipping past him in a blur.

"NOOOOOO!" Robin wailed in horror as the speedster made contact with the devices… and promptly igniting a sizzling explosion of sparks as they blew up from a chain reaction of his swiftly-rearranging molecules combined with the downpour of water from above.

"Oops," Kid Flash chuckled sheepishly, his red hair plastered flatly across his forehead. Then he began to snigger uncontrollably. "Oh, Rob-dude, I bet this is like the first time you've literally lost the game, hahahaha!"

"You do realize you've just presented me the opportunity of having five free days now with nothing to do but think up all sorts of revenge," Robin bit out, resisting the urge to throw a batarang at his friend's head.

Wally paled so hard his freckles stood out against the white of his face.

"Not necessarily," a small voice spoke up. The team looked over to see Miss Martian standing shyly in the hallway, her skin shifting from orange to purple suddenly as yellow polka dots broke out across its surface. "Since coming to Earth, I have collected most of my favorite shows that Uncle J'onn used to show me transmissions of back on Mars. We could watch them on the laptop in my room if that is alright."

And that was how the madness all began.

oOo

It had been sort of fun, Artemis guessed afterwards. Sort of like summer camp or a weekend sleepover. She had never been to either of those in her life so actually experiencing what she had overheard other people talking about was nice.

M'gann had shown them her collection and the team had been pleasantly surprised. Her favorite shows it seemed, were not modern ones, but mostly old tv classics like _Mission Impossible,_ _Columbo_, _Happy Days,_ and _Mork and Mindy. _They supposed this was her chronological age rearing its head since she was really forty-something in Martian years, but only around sixteen maturity-wise in human years. She had apparently watched all these when she was little when Earth had first aired them.

The team had chosen _Star Trek: the Original Series_ to watch. Artemis knew about it, but had only seen the new movie and the one where they had gone back in time to save a blue whale that was future-Earth's only hope. Zatanna had seen a handful of episodes but that was it. Superboy and Aqualad were clueless about it of course. And Robin and Kid Flash, being the total geeks that they were, had not only seen all of the original series already, but had diligently watched the entire franchise.

Robin had figured the math out down to a T. Time-wise, each episode was forty-seven minutes in length. And the _ST:TOS _consisted of three seasons. So if the first season was 1,410 minutes, the second season was 1,222 minutes and the third season was 1,128 minutes. Added together, the time to watch the entire series was 3,760 minutes, which converted into approximately, 2.611 days. That was, of course, watching every episode back to back without any breaks or sleep which none of the team could do. So Robin did some more calculations: 24 hrs in a day – 8 hrs required for sleep = 16 hrs of non-stop watching fun! (That was not including meal times or potty breaks). So, in reality, it took them about four days to watch the entire series.

And of course, by the end, they were all hooked, which was inevitable since they had been holed up in one room for most of their quarantine with only the one show for entertainment and Kid Flash and Robin enthusiastically hyping up their emotions. Artemis was loathe to call herself a "trekkie"—_"trekker!" _Robin and Kid Dork had corrected her vehemently—so she took comfort in telling herself that her and the team's new obsession was something similar to Stockholm Syndrome.

Star Trek had taken them all captive. Why else would they be in M'gann's bio-ship this very moment arguing over who got to be which character? (M'gann's bio-ship which also possessed her awesome morphing ability and was currently donning the shape and appearance of _the Enterprise)._

"Megan should be Kirk. It is her ship after all," Connor declared, crossing his arms and frowning.

"No, no, it has to be you!" Zatanna laughed. "The way you never manage to keep your shirt on in almost every mission you go on!"

"Plus, ever since his appearance, I hear he has gathered a large following of devoted fangirls," Robin joined in on the teasing. "You're the only one who will do William Shatner justice, Supey!"

"Besides, back on Mars, I always used to pretend I was Dr. Spock," M'gann blushed as she morphed into a male lieutenant's Star Fleet uniform even though she retained her female form. Since it had been almost week, the virus had nearly run its course through their systems, however their symptoms had not all vanished completely. Megan managed to create triangular ears and eyebrows, however, her skin-tone still possessed a mind of its own. Currently, it was a soft turquoise color.

"Hey, if anyone should be Spock at the moment, it's me!" Wally pointed at his ears which still pointy from Zatanna's spell but had shrunk two inches. "But it's cool if you want to play the part, babe. I'll let you Vulcan Nerve Pinch me any time—_ow!" _he yelped as Artemis struck the back of his head.

"Dammit, Art, I'm not a punching bag!" he shouted rubbing the sore spot and blinking baffled as the team broke out laughing at his exclamation.

"Well, I guess we know who you are, Dr. _Bone_head," Artemis commented as she took a seat in one of the bio-ship's chairs.

"No way! McCoy is badass and all, but I have to be Scotty!" Wally protested. "The dude is a brilliant engineer who works around _warp speed _engines! I was _meant _to fill his shoes! Don't deny me my destiny!"

_Fanboy freak_, Artemis thought. "Whatever," she shrugged. "With that hair, I bet you _do _have some Scottish ancestry in you."

"And just who do you think you are?" Wally sniped at her.

"Uhura," Artemis chose out of the remaining candidates quickly. "I'm multi-lingual too." She didn't add that Uhura seemed the most sane decision out of all the characters provided.

"What if Zatanna wanted that part?" Kid Downer was quick to ask.

"It's fine," Zatanna waved cheerily at them from her own seat. "I'm going to be Chekov and Robin's claimed Sulu."

Robin who was sitting next to her flashed a wide grin. "It's time for epic helmsman and navigator coordination! And you know," he said slyly, his grin transforming into a smirk as he looked at Superboy who had reluctantly positioned himself where M'gann usually sat in the bio-ship at her bequest. "Even though you're captain, all you do is sit there and give commands. But _I'm _the one who controls the speed and attitude of the ship _and _our weapon and shield systems. So, you're kind of a trophy head-piece while I'm the real brains of the whole operation, hehe."

Artemis liked to believe that Superboy chose that exact moment on purpose to let loose another of his gigantic sneezes that had Robin resorting to his ninja reflexes to escape the super mucus slime that came shooting at him. M'gann opened up a hole in the bio-ship's floor to let the green goop ooze out.

"Sorry," Superboy sniffled, rubbing a finger under his nose.

"It's fine, Captain Conner, sir!" Robin cried, saluting sharply.

Superboy blinked, and then the corners of his lips turned up ever-so slightly. Crossing his legs, he leaned back in the seat and copied the stance Kirk so often displayed in his chair.

"That's Captain _Kent, _helmsman," he said corrected. "Now back to your station!"

"Ay-ay, Captain!" Robin saluted again scrambling back into his seat.

"So, I guess this means you're stuck with McCoy?" Artemis asked Aqualad who had so far remained as silent and stoic as ever during the brief squabble for the character roles.

Kaldur graced her with a smile. "It is perfectly fine with me. Although I have no experience in the medical field, he was an exobiologist as well as a scientist. And although I may have studied sorcery in Atlantis, not science, my school did require all students to study every underwater life form both alien and native that could be found in the ocean. In this aspect, he and I share a common ground."

"No casual talk on the bridge!" Superboy ordered. "Lieutenant Uhura, opening hailing frequencies and Dr. McCoy… go hypospray someone."

"Sure, the captain gets to use his _own_ name unlike the rest of us," Artemis muttered under her breath, but she couldn't help laughing as Kaldur manipulated one of his water-bearers into a gigantic syringe and advanced stealthily towards Wally.

"Dude, don't you dare stick me with that, I'm warning you!" came Kid Flash's panicked voice.

To Artemis' right, Zatanna rattled off something rapid and foreign-sounding which left Robin with a bedazzled, mesmerized look on his face as he stared at her. "God, I love it when you talk Russian," he finally managed to gasp out.

"Why, Helmsman Sulu, I was not aware you cared," Zatanna giggled, relapsing into English with a superb Russian accent.

"So you gonna do the Chekov accent, are you?" Robin snickered seeming to regain his senses. "Can you say 'Vincent the very vivacious vacuuming vampire visited Victor von Viking the Vegetarian veterinarian vacationing in Valentine Valley'?"

Zatanna hiccupped a few syllables in response.

There was a flash of sparkling light and then what resembled two tiny goat horns perched on top of Robin's head.

"Now you really are a troll," Artemis snorted. "I say don't change him back to normal when we've finally recovered," she told Zatanna.

"I will have order on this bridge!" Captain Kent roared standing to his feet. "Any further disregard for my command and I will throw you in the brig!"

"Do we have a brig?" Artemis asked curiously.

"I can make one!" M'gann volunteered enthusiastically. "I mean," she said in a monotone voice, smoothing her facial expression into a blank slate. "I am willing to manipulate the _Enterprise's_ interior into a suitable holding cell for any renegades upon your command, Captain."

"One of you act out of line on the double!" Captain Kent ordered overzealously, darting his eyes about in a swift fashion to catch them in the act.

"You know, no offense, but you're starting to act more like Kirk's evil double in 'Mirror, Mirror' than you are at the original," Wally spoke up not all amused.

"Sieze that pompous swine at once, Lieutenant Spock!" Captain Kent commanded pointed at Kid Flash.

"Pompous swine?" Zatanna whispered to Robin.

"I caught him watching _the Three Musketeers_ once," Robin whispered back.

"Please do not attempt to flee while I rend you unconscious," M'gann warned Wally as she reached out her hand towards his neck.

"Megan, you're hot—love that lavender shade you're sporting now, but babe, I take back what I said earlier. Besides, the Vulcan Nerve Pinch won't work unless you can catch me, ha!" Kid Flash laughed as he took one step forward, probably to zip over to the other side of the bio-ship… only to slip on the puddle of water that had formed conveniently in front of his feet.

Wally fell over backwards with a small splash, and Aqualad was at his side quickly pinning him to the floor. "I shall sedate the rogue immediately, Captain." Kaldur stated solemnly, his water-bearer in the shape of a syringe at the ready.

"Hello, is anyone in here?" came a new voice suddenly towards the back of the bio-ship, startling everyone.

"Captain, reporting unidentified life-form on-board!" Artemis cried.

"Stand your ground, men. Be ready for anything and execute extreme caution!" Captain Kent commanded.

"Guys, what is going on?" Roy asked looking confused as he entered the front of the ship. "Why aren't you answering any League communications and why does the bio-ship look like _the Enterprise_…" he trailed off at the sight of Kid Flash on the floor being restrained by Aqualad. "What—?"

"Unauthorized person has stepped onto the bridge without permission, Captain," M'gann said.

"It's a Klingon invasion!" Robin exclaimed pointing at the intruder. "Subdue him before he calls for reinforcements!"

"ATTAAAAACK!" Captain Kent bellowed.

"_What the hell?"_ Roy roared as he was bowled over by six bodies in a crushing dog-pile. "Have you all gone insane?"

"Resistance is futile!" Wally shrieked latching his arms around his friend's neck. "You're wearing a red shirt. You were doomed the minute you stepped on-board, haha!"

**Epilogue**

**The Watchtower.**

"You sent Roy to Mt. Justice to find out why we haven't heard from our protégés for four days?" Black Canary asked Green Arrow in disbelief. "But… but… it's quarantined! Now he'll catch the virus from them!"

"Well, then I guess he'll have to be quarantined with them for awhile, won't he?" Green Arrow sniggered. "Team-bonding should do him some good."

"You're an evil man, Ollie," the Flash laughed clapping his friend on the shoulder. "Now, where were we?"

The heavy metal doors hissed as they slid open and Batman entered the Monitor Womb in his usual brooding fashion with his cape swishing out behind him. Stalking over to the holographic displays, he engaged himself in the computer network. "Are all communications to Mt. Justice still going by unanswered?" he demanded.

"Right, John was just about to engage Darth Vader over there in a deadly battle while Princess Leia runs away with Han Solo to one of this Death Star's holding cells for a sensual make-out session," Green Arrow grinned throwing an arm around Black Canary's shoulders. "Oof!" he gasped as Dinah slugged him in his stomach and marched off.

"As if," she called over her shoulder. "You can't make me put my hair in those Buns of Death."

"Wait, wait!" Oliver cried chasing after her. "What about Jabba the Hutt's slave-dancer outfit? You promised! My birthday's coming up!"

"Okay, Luke, now remember, when you're facing off against Darth Vader, don't forget to use _the Schwartz,"_ Barry guffawed heartily.

"Ha, ha, ha," the Green Lantern mocked dryly as a green light enveloped his ring and morphed into a light saber.

"You will pay the price for your lack of vision," Batman's voice rang out suddenly in a low, sinister tenor.

The Green Lantern's feet were ensnared by a bat-lasso causing him to trip and then convulse as an electric current ran through the composite-nylon cord shocking its victim.

"Aw, come on, we agreed on this!" Superman whined in complaint as he stepped out of the shadows and grumpily took off his black rain-poncho. _"I_ was going to be the Emperor not you! I'm always the good guy! I never get to be the bad guy! _Never!"_

"Shut up, Boy Scout, or I'll introduce you to some red Kryptonite and videotape the side-effects," Batman sneered.

**The End**

**A/N:** fill for a YJ anon meme prompt. Actually I sort of combined two fills. Someone wanted to see a bed-ridden sick team holed up together for a couple of days and what they did during that time and the other prompt was them playing Star Trek on Megan's bio-ship. So, here it is with the added bonus of seeing what the League does in the Watchtower which pretty much came out of nowhere towards the end. That craziness was my own idea. XD Kudos to anyone who caught _the Schwartz_ reference. Re-reading, I realize a lot of POV stems from Artemis, probably my sub-conscious since I can relate with her. I didn't want the fic to fade into oblivion after it falls off the first page, so I placed it under Artemis and Robin, even though, it's group-centered.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this! Please review and share your thoughts and favorite scenes. I love hearing what you liked best and it's the only reward a fanfic author gets. I like knowing what my readers think and feel. Thank you!


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